Detail: 13-07-2008 -
Result:
Blues Tour 11-13th July 2008
The intrepid Blues leave London for the ‘country’ and two hours later Metson emerges in Fordingbridge well versed in Chinook helicopter manoeuvres and the merits of different management styles. The question is whether he can bring together this multi-skilled, yet motley crew of teachers, journalists, Accountants, wannabe ‘Hollywood’ stars and one Lego head man to triumph against Rockbourne Cricket Club…..
Of course the answer was ‘Yes’. In the most unlikely fashion the Blues managed to reach 172 all out thanks to the contribution of just four men. (We await the thoughts of Aggers and CMJ as to whether any team has won in spite of seven ducks)
Here is a summary of all our contributions on and off the field:
Carter, Tom Score: 0
The ‘Red Baron’ from Odiham ran in with gusto when on the pitch and similarly talked with gusto about the RAF. Certainly the fittest member of the squad
(in a cardio-vascular sense – don’t worry Guy) he fielded like his place in the Chinook depended on it. Off the field he out-did that ginger army bloke and provided super entertainment with his DAB digital radio. Next year as a fully qualified pilot we expect him to play in his uniform and expect his girlfriend to show us some ballet moves.
Clark, Nick Score: 0
Clarkie acquitted himself in an exemplary fashion on tour, refraining from contacting the ‘Independent’ HQ until Sunday morning and selflessly sleeping on the couch. Cruelly ran out by the Yorkshire man, Nick bowled well and also did not benefit from Beaky’s rotation policy. As befits a man of ‘good stock’ he refused to dwell on his bad luck and concentrated his mind on the two hour journey with Mullet and finding the next big business story.
Corcoran, Michael Score: 30 odd
The only gritty and northern person on tour, Mitch could easily have struggled to fit it. Not Michael though…. A veteran of many Yorkshire summer’s where snow would still be on the ground in August, he managed to play surprisingly well in the heat of Hampshire with a plucky innings. Mitch also scored well in the fashion stakes but faced stiff opposition from Hollywood. No doubt under Eliie’s orders Mitch was relatively restrained on the drinking front. Yet Mitch did not disappoint – enthralling the team and opposition in the pub with his incomprehensible rambling and he seemed to get a round of applause every time he tried to speak.
Ellen, Thomas, Score: 15
Old ‘side - strain or ‘Sir Ellen Sugar’ was competent behind the stumps despite dropping at least five sitters. The Blues certainly missed his bowling but his ability to find Freeman’s balls was invaluable. Tom had the honour of rooming with Corcoran (a prized catch on any tour). As ever Sir Ellen was good on the golf course despite showing very poor etiquette – on at least one occasion squawking whilst Metson teed up and ribbing poor ‘Beaky’ for temporarily having his wallet stolen. The Committee needs to decide whether this talented yet divisive character should tour again.
Freeman, Guy Score: 70 +
The man the crowd’s come to watch and always in Sir Ellen’s top two. (along with Sarah) He had an impressive tour. Surely, he has done enough to secure a place for next year with his wonderful knock. Even if he hadn’t scored 70 odd runs, the fact the he was the first man in over 100 years to score a six off Danny’s bowling deserves special mention. Off the field ‘Hollywood’ lived up to his massive reputation even if he did succumb to Lego's aggression at times. The Top gun shades epitomised the glamour of the man who drank champagne like it was water and even managed to mix with the local girls despite preferring ‘A list celebs’
Head, Lego Score: 0
The angry man of the tour was prepared to push a team mate into a bush and break a chair yet could not summon up the strength to hit the ball off the square in ‘thirty attempts’!. Sadly, he was not given the opportunity to perform with the ball, although judging on previous history this was no great loss. Lego was ruthless when it came to getting himself a bed and every young Lego enthusiast will be disappointed to hear that there are tints of grey in his mane! Marcus has asked that Lego does not play again next year unless he agrees not to wear Man made fibres in his shirt.
Mullet, Richard Score: 0
Despite bowling well, ‘Moulet’, ‘Huggy’, or ‘Mullet’s main contribution was off the field - using his ‘extrovert’ personality to good effect - socialising with the opposition, their wives and also congratulating Rooke with that unforgettable hug. Richard managed the team’s finances on tour with all the skill of a man who runs his own firm: the savviest investment being the £10 pizzas won in the pub’s meat draw. Even though Richard didn’t even get a slice of the prize this dogged individual was bound to eventually be rewarded and duly won the Inaugural Blues naked tennis Championship!
Metson, Steve Score: 0
Beaky tried his best to communicate with the humans but often all they would do was to squawk back. He did manage to beat Danny’s son at high jump but was obviously at an advantage because he could fly. At times during the match some of the senior players, Lego and Ralfie, tried to get under his plumage. He remained calm under pressure thinking instead of soaring into the clear New Forest Air. His patience was questioned at one point though after the ridiculous no ball decision by Marcus induced him to ‘Collingwood-esque’ behaviour.
Rolfe, Matt Score: 0
Rolfe who likes to be called ‘Ralfie’: A tour veteran and close friend of ‘Hollywood’ made do with Guy as bed mate because he wasn’t allowed to bring his wife on tour. (Nb. He did ask!) Although a disappointment with the bat (not the only one!) he bowled excellently but was on the receiving end of Metson’s strict rotation policy. His three wickets in two overs, his footballing skill and his quick wit (often at my expense) were tour highlights. His earliness to bed on the Friday night was a low-point.
Rooke, Tom Score: 30 odd
Should surely have been the brunt of all the ‘bird’ gags and the man who actually most resembles an animal (pantomime horse). As ever, Rooke stood tall at the crease with chest out and nostrils flared – he batted admirably. He also bowled well and showed such dignity when his LBW shout was ignored. (?!) With Hollywood and Carter, Rooke had some competition when it came to chatting up the ladies but was in his element when it came to the tea. His praise of the meat pie was almost as cringe worthy as the mutual huggy with him and Mullet.
Whelan, Paul Score: 0
‘Ronnie’ ‘Paul’ or ‘Ronaldo’ had thought he had seen and heard it all until ‘Broken chair gate’, ‘Marcus drunken cover-drive gate’ or even the ‘drunken Danny’s charm. As ever Paul provided an excellent umpiring stint and some energetic slip fielding. In bed Ronnie was less successful – no ‘roomie’ the first night as Metson opted for the couch and then a relentless stint of snoring combined with five nightly trips to the toilet. He would always be ready for the evening drinking despite always seeming to decline a drink because he’d better ‘take it easy’ yet always having another pint in his hand!
[updated 30 Jul 18]